Thursday, 24 May 2012

UPDATED : I'M HAPPY I'VE JUST BECOME A MULTI-MILLIONAIRE!!

I have re-posted this article because not having checked my email for 2 days, after returning from the hospital today I thought, "better do that" - well bloody hell only 192 in my spam folder, I was gutted!  However, my eyes soon lit up when I realised after looking at about the 8th one, I was not a multi-millionaire as in the article post below, but a BILLIONAIRE, yes you read it correctly, a BILLIONAIRE.  I'm going to sort the world debt crisis out but first things first, I have to put the handing over of the Olympic Torch to Princess Anne last week, right - Decided to send Greece a few mill to sort it all out, those poor girls weren't dressed correctly, they didn't have full length dresses on and no gold leaves in their hair, secondly I'm going to buy all banker's batteries for their calculators, so they don't have to wear their fingers to the bone and try to use their brain at the same time because it's just so cruel on them having to work that way and thirdly, but most importantly....I'm going to get Rob a birthday card this year!

Good morning to everyone, this is Linda here - I really don't know whether I should be writing this now that I am a multi-millionairess (I should really be getting in the car and heading for the nearest airport before Rob notices).

I was happily checking my email and chatting back to my friends, then decided once finished, I would empty my Spam folder...but STOP, wow what's this in amongst the usual rubbish of people guaranteeing to make me rich beyond all my dreams overnight, there were 6 different emails, one telling me that I had inherited over £1.5m, another telling me that an unfortunate thing had happened to this lady and she was dying imminently, and had no one else to leave her money to, other than little old me! Therefore, she wanted to send me this wonderful gift to make my life easier, I couldn't count how many noughts there were at the end of the figure but it was certainly massive, what a nice lady! The others were that I had mislaid this money into accounts dotted all around the world, my goodness, what's wrong with my memory, all this time living hand to mouth, and all that time I had millions sat in accounts that I had just forgotten about, wait til I tell Rob....he's going to say something like "what a silly billy you've been Linda, but I forgive you."  Perhaps that's why I didn't know who this lovely lady was, maybe she's my auntie and it had just slipped my mind, yeah that's probably why I don't recognise her name...note to self : SEE DOCTOR ASAP ABOUT MEMORY PROBLEMS.

I totted it all up and yes, it's true, I'm a muti-millionairess....of course all I have to do is send them all my bank details, my address, my date of birth, one wants my passport number, but hey, that's ok!  Oh yes, and I have to send some money because of the cost of wiring the money directly into my bank, and I'm a kind hearted soul so I thought 'what the heck' get it done Linda and you are on your way to solving at least 0.1% of the UK's debt crisis, and Messrs. Cameron & Clegg will love me.

(just back from throwing up)...now where was I...oh yes...All these lovely people around the world sending me money like this and people scoff saying that there are no genuinely nice people left, it's just not true.

Anyway, will have to rush off now, I have loads of cheques to write out and send off and I will make sure I check my spam folder everyday from now on, because until now, I've just been a stupid woman!!!!!

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